Tuesday, July 3, 2018

3 Pet Writing Peeves

It’s impossible for us to attain perfection with every sentence we write, but we do need to check our work for as many errors as we can before putting it out in the world. I keep encountering certain things in books I read that drive me nuts. Here’s my favorite three.

The Case of the Missing Pants

As we set the reader in our story world, we need to describe characters. If you chose to describe a character’s outfit, please don’t stop mid-way through the description.

A server in a crisp white shirt, red vest, and red bow tie approached. 


As I read, I form a mental picture of a character. From this abbreviated description, I can’t help but wonder if the bottom half of his body is naked. And if so, why didn’t the other characters notice?

How about

A server dressed in a crisp white shirt, red vest with red bow tie, and gray pants approached.

While this isn’t the complete picture, his socks and shoes are missing, and maybe a watch–you get the picture. I haven’t described every detail, but there should be enough to keep a reader from wondering whether the server is wearing pants or not.

The Eyes Have It

For some reason, writers tend to send the eyes of story characters in many directions. Keep in mind a human’s eyes are pretty much stuck in one’s head. The only way eyes can perform some of the following antics is for them to physically leave the body. And yes, these are taken from books I have read.




Her eyes circled the room. 
He sent his eyes around the room. 
Her eyes flew to his face. 
His eyes drifted up from the floor.

Yikes. These are talented eyes if they can do all that. My advice is to use the word “gaze.” Rather like the ubiquitous “said” in dialogue, gaze doesn’t encourage a reader to picture eyes leaving sockets.

His gaze slid from her to the door behind her.

Works a lot better than

His eyes slid from her to the door behind her.

Thank about what you write. Can you physically do what you’ve written? Or at least imagined yourself doing it? For example, I don’t have any problem picturing a character “rolling” his or her eyes because my daughter has mastered the technique. Her eyes never leave their sockets, but she clearly rolls them upward. Thus, I am comfortable using that description for a character.

Again, if your eyes can’t do something, a character’s eyes probably can’t do it either.

The Misplaced Possessive Apostrophe

I’m not sure why, but fewer and fewer people seem to understand how to use the possessive apostrophe. The average English speaker tends to use his or her, mine or yours, correctly, but the minute the possessive apostrophe jumps in, especially in an advertisement, things get wacky.

Take the following sentences for example:

Her parents’ house is large. 
Her parent’s house is large.

First of all, the house belongs to either her parents (at least two of them) or her parent (one person). Thus, if you’ve written that the heroine is pulling into the driveway leading to the house where both her parents live. You would write:

Her parents’ house is large.

Parents would be plural (indicating two people) and the apostrophe comes after the “s” to show possession. The parents own the house.

If the heroine’s parents are divorced or one is deceased, she would be pulling into the driveway leading to the house where one parent lives. You would write:

Her parent’s house is large.

This is singular possession. One parent owns the house. The apostrophe comes before the “s” and after the singular word parent.

Plunking the apostrophe before the “s” in plural words seems popular these days. You see it most often in advertisements, but it’s seeping into fiction.

DVD’s for sale. 
PC’s for sale.

Hmmm, written like this, the owner has only one DVD and one PC for sale. Oh, you had more than one? You have several boxes of DVDs and three PCs? Well, for goodness sakes, advertise them correctly.

DVDs for sale.
 PCs for sale.

I’m beginning to wonder if apostrophobia–the fear of misusing an apostrophe which then causes someone to misuse it–has gripped the world. If you have doubts about using a possessive apostrophe, check a grammar book (yes, you should own one) or check an online resource.

Perfection isn’t possible, but a good writer strives to keep clutter to a minimum. Remember, readers have imaginations, too. Once you get them comfortably ensconced in your story world, don’t let easily corrected distractions such as incomplete character descriptions, trick eyes, or grammar errors force the reader out of the story.

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